Tales of an urban truz

Rosita, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. Ro-see-ta: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Ro. See. Ta.

She was Ro, plain Ro, in the morning, standing five feet six in one sock. She was Rose in slacks. She was Rosa on the dotted line. But in my arms she was always Rosita.

Gravitating motionless through the lake seeing nothing but the pitch black frame inside my eyes. The water slowly clapped against my chest letting me know you were also there, to try and find you with my stare was futile for no ray of light could possibly bounce through my gaze, nevertheless I knew it was you who was contemplating by my side the darkness we were being caressed by. 

One firefly suddenly appeared, giving birth to what was the first stanza of light we were soon going to presence. Around us hundreds of fireflies began to initiate their visual lullaby, the lake was suddenly illuminated at large obliging your infinite beauty before my eyes. You were -as always- kindly smiling, looking through my eyes as if you could touch my soul with the pureness of your gaze. My heart rapidly increased it’s tempo and my hand reached yours, we dived into the lake and as we were two the water made us one, for I couldn’t see myself stranded from your presence and the sweet perfume your hair was so amused to cast. 

Finally we reached a cave underwater lighted by dozens of torches in which we could pleasantly rest, we walked towards the shore of rocks and your body found rest among the hardness, I saw you falling asleep and I reached for a torch in order to lay it near your body, so you could never feel cold again as you did for me.

In my heart I feel so high, I want to know the reasons why, my blood threads so slowly and how it is that you’re the one eyed feather and the lions mane.

And there will be no more nights and no more stars, no more scars and no more laughs, no more dreams and no more thoughts, when silence drowns the screams.

Soothing your thorned heart I pinched myself.

The blood straying from my body made me feel warm for a moment only, just enough to build castles upon the air and hear the lullabies of your hair, as the wind softly made me mirth and gave your skin a second birth I began to realize the deep layers of the decoy were fading away revealing myself as the prey.

The flames ablaze breathing my dreams, the heaviness of the truth made me come to tears and even when it’s hard to say it I won’t say it and I won’t be here for long though I know it’s wrong.

And I’ll be there to take care of you if ever you should decide, but you don’t want to waste your life in the middle of a lovesick lullaby

In a dream I swam to the other side, from all wasn’t fair and my heart was light.
Now I’ll never lose the track again.
With a thorn in my wrist and the eyes dark I couldn’t understand how to let it pass, but suddenly everything was different. I must have slept for long, since everything passed around me and no one seemed to care, now I’ll never lose the track again.
Don’t you understand how to hide yourself to let no one ever see your wounds, now you’ll never lose the track again

I didn’t feel the pain, I didn’t feel anything at all

The wind flying through my hand as the car drove down the highway and I couldn’t care less for where it was headed nor when it would get there. The voices of the people in the car started fading through the sound of the sun and clouds, memories started entangling and for a short span the time seemed to slowly stretch into infinity.

What is there to be if nothing seems to shine? How can I be so different and yet feel the same? And there’s this burning constantly reminding me of how the world doesn’t fit to me, forever touched by the dream of another self careening towards me. The rain starts to drop and my lips tremble as I keep dreaming alone.

Whenever light shines on misery it can only make things worse. On the day we met she burned so bright my luck was soon deaf to my voice.

Well she was blushing like a sunset the first time I saw her, with her eyes so bright and black. And her gentle touch felt like a kiss to my arm with those little fingers of her reaching back and forth leaving blood colored trails.

Well she sounded like a symphony when she simply said my name, and I’ve been thinking about the first time she took my laugh and I don’t understand it at all. Whatever little hopes I once kept to myself sound and safe are now all deaf, whatever thoughts I once locked are now burned.

Somewhere in the front of the footlights I see nothing but her presence, all the sneaky things we could do in the dark but she always reminds me we’re playing the part where she’s letting me go, the only thing she’s forgetting is I’m so hung up on her I wish she stayed for long. Soon I’ll nail a ring on her wing and make her my little miss misery forever and ever enjoying together the hidden pleasures of the pain.

Lover, will you look at me now? I’m longing for your touch and even when you were at my side you streamed so far away.

Tell me, do you think of me now? As I think of you? For I could not have shaken the touch of your breath on my arm. I am sorry the worst has arrived, for I didn’t intend to do you no harm but I’m not about to expect something more. 

Lover, will you look from me now? For when I thought of going away I went crazy I ran through the night into the emptiness.

Tell me, do you long for me now? As I long for you? For I could not understand what your heart would decide. I am already dead but I’ve come to explain, if I was a different man I could have read your heart and it’s been so long since I’ve memorized your face, but saying it out loud is hard, so I won’t say it at all and I won’t stay very long.